I fear my life had been corrupted, thank you Jesus for loving me.

So, as I listen to my pastor sharing a message of hope, I'm stuck on the verse that he read. 2 Timothy 3:1-5. The list of acts that people are doing top each other sounds an awful lot like my life and it scares me a little.
How on earth does this happen! How can my desire to do good be overshadowed by the crap that goes on around me; the things the are going on in my very life.
This must change!
As I continue to watch my kids argue with each other and with myself, I wonder what it would be like if, even for a day, stop serving ourselves and start counting others as more important. What would that be like...to stop thinking about ourselves!
I don't want to be selfish anymore, but I'm afraid that if I change and others do not, that I would be bitter and revert back to my old selfish ways.
Is they hope?
There's is because I have faith in Jesus. I may not be able to Change my selfish ways by myself, but I know that I have a savior that will be able to help me through it.
We, and when I say we I mean I, need to take everything to Jesus and continue to trust that he will listen.

Fading from one life to another

What do you think about? As I sit here looking at pictures from the past, I can't help think about where those pictures were taken. That's good because that's exactly what I want them to do.
But if I'm low on cash, I think about ways I can make more money. The lottery always comes to mind when that happens.
If I have a bad day at work, I think about how I can improve my situation by perhaps finding a new job.
But when it comes to spiritual matters, I usually have to force myself to think more spiritual. It doesn't come as naturally as other things. It always seems however that when I think about spiritual things, everything seems to fade out of focus and become less important. That is exactly what I want, but why do I have to leave it so long before I come to that realization...sigh...
I love my God, and how he waits for me in these uncertain times. But I must admit, I don't like myself when those times come and overwhelm me.
More of Jesus and less of me...that's what I need...

Breaking humanity

It has been to long since I read and responded to the Bible.I don't have an excuse except for...I messed up again.this almost feels like confession. Why is it that life gets in the way all the time. And of course, in timely fashion, whenever I feel the need to be in the word more, that is when I feel the most stress, the pull of life over the desire to be a good Christian. The good thing about it is that I almost always recognize the effects of my absence from God. The bad thing is that it happens all to often. I well once again try to walk in a manner that is glorifying to God, and not self satisfying.