My batteries are running low.

I stalled. There's just no 2 ways about it. I have been trying not to spend as much time on the computer as I once was. This of course affects how much time I spend blogging.
I dunno... I suppose I'm feeling a little sorry for myself. It happens once in awhile.
I was reading my little girl a story last night. It was from the book of Judges, the very first chapter. I don't know if she understood any of it, with all of the names and places that were mentioned.
The Israelite's were given specific instructions to drive out the Caananites from the land and then to take over the land as their home. That is what GOD said. The family of Judah was successful, but the other tribes were not, and allowed these people to inhabit the land with them.
God = good... Caananites = bad.
With good and bad occupying the same space, how soon before the good become bad?
By reading the rest of the Bible, we can determine that this is a constant struggle.
And, it becomes a constant struggle with modern day Christians as well; even more sore I fear.
Although the "good" is out there, the "bad" is more readily accessible.

What am I trying to say...what does this have to do with me and the rest of us.
If anyone is like me (and I think there are a few of us), we have to work at being good (doing good things, reading our Bible, praying, etc...). The being bad (wasting time, being lazy, not exercising, etc) seem to come all too quickly and almost naturally.

I know his shouldn't be. It's like what Paul says the "war that is being waged" inside of us. My heart and my mind want to do one thing, but my body longs for something else.

And to top it all off, I am having a hard time getting up in the morning because of the lack of sun in the sky. (it's not an excuse really... but it takes more WORK to even get out of bed)

I messed up... Thank GOD I am forgiven.

Living in a small town has definitely presented some challenges. There are good things about small town living; and there are some decidedly not so good things. Let me start with some of the good things.

Living in a small town will give you a sense of security. I love it when my kids can go to the pool, or to the arena, or to the library, and I don't have to worry about them. They can go and play almost anywhere in town, and I don't have to think too hard about letting them.

The classes are small, so they don't have to worry about getting lost in the crowd. They are able to participate in whatever they want in school.

People tend to be super friendly in a small town. You can walk everywhere. It's quiet living in a small town. You can buy a house in a small town and not worry about going into debt. Taxes are cheaper. Life seems slower. You can usually find someone to help with whatever you need.

But sometimes living in a small town has it's drawbacks as well...

Lives seem to be an open book. Everybody knows everything that happens in a small town. There is a lack of businesses in a small town, so shopping or eating out is limited. The rink and the coffee shop are the "hubs" of activity. Agriculture is the major occupation, and if you don't know anything about agriculture, you are (or at least feel like you are) out of the loop.

Let me tell you a little of my story... It's a personal blog, and I am entitled to my "feelings", so this is how I feel! I am NOT blaming or accusing anyone, but when you have a city attitude and you move to a small town, you start to feel a little discontented...so here goes...

I enjoy my family...I love them more then anything. I see my kids struggle in school ( a small school where the teacher to student ratio is like 4-8 to 1. I don't understand how that can be possible. I see how my child has very few friends. He only has 4 in his class, and yet he doesn't fit in. I see that there is very little Christian influence in my children s life besides their parents, and when they start to get older, they NEED MORE.

I enjoy working. I enjoy and am good at only a few things. I am good at retail, and I love ministering to others in the church. As I eluded to before, I know nothing about agriculture, I am not a mechanic, I am not into sports. I tried carpentry and found out that I can't do that either. Sure, I can renovate minor things at home, but I'm not perfect; I don't have it within me. So when it come down to finding a job in a small town, there are very few options available. I'm not ABOVE these things, if anything I am below because I do not have what it takes. Could I learn these things? Well if the past 40 years has taught me anything, it's that  I know what my strengths are and I know where I am weak.

Maybe my attitude stinks, that's a distinct possibility, but in our short time here I have been hurt (emotionally, I have feelings too) by more people than I have EVER been before. That's no lie.

I have made a few friends and I have been able to share what I believe God has called me to do. And because of that I praise God. On one night a weak  (two now for the next five weeks)I am able to enjoy myself and be happy. I feel like I am contributing to something that is greater than me. 

But that is only one day a week.

I am not fulfilling my duty as a man to be the provider for my family, and ever so slowly we go deeper into debt. Problems still arise with business of living.

Sigh...

Everyday I question God.

Sometimes I get angry.

Always I listen to Him.

Whenever I feel like I can't go on or that I would just like to give up, He reminds me that faith and trust in Him are the most important thing.

In a year I will look back on this and smile at the wonderful things God has done, but for now, I will continue on living my life in a way that is pleasing to God.

These are my "feelings"...they are mine alone...With God, I will prevail!

Run the race...what race?

We are back from Montana. We actually arrived home on Monday night, just in time for my daughter to go to her dance class. We spent the rest of the night unpacking the van and putting our goodies away. On Tuesday, I spent the majority of the day  laundering the clothes and getting caught up on a few errands that have plagued me for the last few months. I did read the kids a Bible story for bed, but I never read the Bible for myself...
But I'm back at it again today...

I make it sound like a hardship don't I.
Well, maybe some mornings it is.
I know how important it is though, and I know that distressed feelings about reading the bible everyday will soon fade away, so I keep at it as best I can.
It's actually not that difficult today. I woke up this morning with a good attitude and a joyful heart. That doesn't happen every morning though...
Back to the Radical Reformation Journey...Week 2 day 1

This mornings reading was about running the race as to win from 1 Corinthians 9  and  2 Timothy 4.
Here's the problem I have with that analogy. I have never been the fastest runner. I know that I will never win. That doesn't stop me from running, and doing my best, but it does affect my way of thinking. You see, I have always been a firm believer of emphasizing one's strengths instead of working on the weaknesses. Admit what you can't do and try to capitalize on what you can.
So, what do you do in this situation?
It's a metaphor that I am having a hard time wrapping my head around...

scanning...not reading

I didn't read yesterday...and I haven't read today yet either. It's not to say that I'm not going to read...bu that I haven't read yet. I've been pre-occupied. I thought I would use the computer for something else besides surfing the web. I spent all day yesterday and so far most of today scanning pictures. from 1995 up until 2002/03, we used film camera and had all our pictures developed. Therefore, I have a lot of pictures in photo albums and I thought it would be safe and handy to have them scanned into the computer.

So...that's what I have been doing... that and getting ready for our trip to Montana...that'll be tomorrow...
anyway...back to scanning...
I'll be back on the devotional book by Tuesday. That's when we get back.

Faith and courage

Day 6: How Radical am I willing to be? That's a pretty good question. Everywhere you read in the Bible, you hear about these radical people who do what seem to be impossible things. How on earth can I compare to these great men.
Then again, the Bible is also filled with ordinary men who do extraordinary things.
This is easier to comprehend... but am I capable of doing something extraordinary?

I don't know...I suppose it comes down to faith and courage.
Do I have enough courage to do those things that need to be done, and do I have the faith to trust God that will make it happen.
Faith and courage.
Where do I stand...
...the jury is still out!

check again tomorrow...

Day 4 and 5
I did read yesterday, but i became so busy that I didn't have time to write anything down. Of course, I did have reason...there's always a reason. It's 10:19 this evening and I just got home, so even now, I don't feel like typing much.
Tell you what, bear with me, and I will get back on track tomorrow. i don't want to fall behind like I did in October.
Until tomorrow...

What is brokenness?

Day 3 Acts 15:36-41; 2 Timothy 4:9-11
I don't know... I just don't know. I read today about brokenness and unless you have been broken by something, you truly don't know what brokenness is.
I have been broken before, before God. whenever I think about what He did for me, I am belittled and brought down to my knees.

but...
What if I am Mark?
What if I deserted someone and am having to prove myself?
I don't know how to respond!
What did Mark have to do to win himself back into Pauls good graces?
Maybe I will have to wait until tomorrow.


(you'll have to read the scriptures mentioned today to know what I am talking about...)

Expect the unexpected.

Day 2.
I read Luke 24: 13-35 today. It's the story of Jesus, after the resurrection, appearing to two random men as they walk to Emmaus. These two guyss had no idea who they were talking too. They were pouring their heart to this stranger (Jesus) with broken hearts and broken dreams. They, like many others, were expecting the Messiah to deliver them from all of their troubles; to finally free Israel.
What a shock when Jesus finally reveals Himself.
What do I expect?
The plans that I have, (or more then likely, the plans I wish God would have for me) could be completely different then the actual plans God has for me.
I've been struggling with this for years. I know that God has blessed me (even amongst all of my failures).
So, what is the answer. Do I start looking for God in different places. That could be a start.
These two men didn't expect to find Jesus IN THEIR HOUSE.... breaking bread with them.
With that kind of attitude, it begins to open up a lot more possibilities.
I have been saying all along; look outside the box.
Expect the unexpected...

Great, now I sound like a big brother commercial!

Like a piece of glass

I received a couple of devotion books from a pastor in York PA. He's taking the church through a Radical Reformation Journey. I've been listening to is messages, so I asked if I and my family could go through it as well.
So, for the next 50 days, I will be studying the word through the radical reformation Journey.

Day one: What shape am I in.
Jeremiah 18:1-6

I have never seen a potter work on a wheel. Well, that's not entirely true; I did see it briefly when I was in school, but I was more interested in the trip away from school then I was in the reason for the trip.
But, what I have seen is a glass blower making a bowl. I watched him take out a blob of glass and blow it and shape it into a dog's watering dish, a beautiful addition to Fifi's table.
To watch him blow, roll, and shape this right before my eyes was something else. With precision, he formed it, as fragile as it was. He then took the excess glass and threw it back into the fire to make more.
I never pictured my life as clay or glass much before. I have sung the songs...but to actually imagine yourself being molded; somehow it doesn't compute. In reality, it is our experiences that shape us. How I respond to something will help me determine how I will respond in the future. Combine that with our faith and who God is, and we can get a better understanding of how He shapes us. He takes what we know, teaches us his way so that when experiences come, we can react to them in a way that is perhaps more pleasing.
He allows His word and His Holy Spirit to change our way of thinking. If we continue to trust that His way is the Best way, He then transform us from the inside out. Our insides get molded, and the if we let it, the outside (our actions) begin to change as well.
Easy to say..tougher to do.

How am I marred and what am I holding back?
I am too easily swayed by the old sinful nature. I know God's promises in my head, but I have a hard time putting them into practice. I hold back on EVERY good thing that comes into my mind because I am too afraid of what people will think of me if I carry them out.
Am I willing to let God mold me?
I have always been willing. I feel like I am that extra piece of glass, always being thrown into the fire to be molded. Sometimes I turn out beautiful, but at the last minute, there's a flaw and back into the fire I go.

Don't let your humanity get in the way

I've been reading the book of Luke to my kids over the past few days. It's been a long time since I read Luke, so I figured...why not?
So here I am...reading Luke... :)

I started in chapter 2, when Jesus at age 12 stays behind at the temple and his parents don't know where he is. I remember when my oldest son was 12 (it was just last year). It's incredible how thirsty he is for knowledge. He was thirsty before that as well, but it's a far cry from when he was younger.
So long Thomas the tank engine...hello Discovery Channel.
He's always wanting to know how stuff works and how things are made.
Unfortunately, he's stubborn and doesn't like being told he's wrong.

Jesus was listening to the teachers and Rabbis at 12. They were amazed at his comprehension and understanding. He must have been asking some pretty hard questions to impress these Jewish leaders.
Even at twelve, Jesus was listening.
I wonder what they talked about? One can only assume that they were talking about religious matters, but he was there for 3 days. You can learn a lot about someone in three days. He must have been respectful because they allowed him to stay.
I wonder how many of these teachers and rabbis were around when Jesus came back in his later years?
Then, when his parents ( Mary and Joseph) finally find him, they ask; "Your father and I have been anxiously looking for you".
How embarrassing would that have been... to lose the child God gave you?
But... Jesus responds... I was in my fathers house.
Of course Joseph would have been bewildered..."Jesus...our house is in Nazareth... not in Jerusalem. it even says in the Bible that they didn't understand what Jesus was saying to them.
How easy it must have been to forget sometimes that Jesus was the son of God, especially when he takes off and does his own thing at age 12.

And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature and in favor with God and men. Jesus didn't let his humanity get in the way of his obedience toward God; and, his God character came out in his dealings towards men. He was loved by God and by the people he met.

What makes us so different.
I know we weren't born of God like Jesus was, but he grew in favor with God.
If we call ourselves Christians, we should be able to be 'like' Jesus. We'll never be Jesus, but he had to battle with his human side just as we do. He prevailed where we fail.
I have to keep thinking about this!

How can I take refuge? (Psalm 11)

The book of psalms can be confusing too! It's like the Psalmist is talking in riddles. We get half of the story. We don't know what happens before the psalm, and we don't know what happens after the psalm.
In Psalm 11, he writes "How then can you say to me "Flee like a bird to the mountains..."
He goes on to write some more after that.
Who is saying that to him?
Why do they want him to flee?
The writer shares that their are people lurking in the shadow ready to strike.

But... His refuge is in the Lord.
This I can appreciate. How do I do it though?
I think the answer lies in scripture. To take refuge means to retreat to someplace safe. When we are in God's presence, we should feel a sense of safety and security, but it's not as if we can summon God to come and sit on our rocking chair while we cower at his feet.
The answer lies in scripture; in the words of God, the things he has written and given us in the Bible.
Words like " I will never leave you nor forsake you..."
" Be strong and courageous..."
" Call to me and I will answer you..."
The presence of God can be a powerful force if we only listen and believe.

Psalm 10

It's late, but I promised myself that I would read today. I just finished reading Psalm 10. It got me thinking a little about people who don't believe in God. The psalmist writes that they are arrogant, doing what they want with no thought of consequences. Well, if they don't know God or believe in Him, that would seem to be a natural reaction.
It's sad to think that there are still people out there who don't know God. We have all been born with a sense that there is a God, but unless someone explains it, we continue to believe what we believe. For those of us that know, that should be reason enough to get off our hiney's and do something about it.
But, that's often not the case.
That's all I have for now...time for bed!

Just Do Anything?

So...I'm still trying to figure out how to love.
So far this month, I have done a terrible job at keeping p to date on my writings. That is not a good thing. I still have the desire to read everyday. Most mornings I get up early enough.
I have a hard time understanding why I struggled so much with the book of John! It's a pivotal book... I believe I mentioned that once before. Since then, I have sidetracked and jumped all over the Bible. Maybe I have been thinking too systematic! I like books with a beginning middle and end. I don't know, I'm just grasping for something.
This whole idea of love though has really got me stumped.
Well, not entirely. I know what God is trying to say to me, I just don't know if we are speaking the same language. It's like when you go to a french restaurant. They know that you are hungry, but they don't know what to bring you to eat. It wouldn't matter anyway because you can't read the menu. "Just bring me anything, I'm hungry..."
So, if I put that logic into place...Just Do ANYTHING to show love, it doesn't matter what it is.
Hmm
If I combine this way of thinking with what I had written earlier...(about troubleshooting connections) and with the message series I am presently listening too about Radical Reformation... (more of that here) , I might just have an idea of what I need to do...

As far as what to read next...I think I am going to go back to the Old Testament and read a few Psalms for the next few weeks.

I think

His love is everlasting.

I woke up at 4:30 this morning. Actually, it wasn't me, it was the stupid cat meowing at my window. I trudged my way to the door, let her in with some unkind remarks, and managed to feel my way back through the dark to my bed. Then, I laid there for half an hour...staring at the ceiling, wondering why it's so difficult to go back to sleep.
So I got out of bed, put on a pair of socks ( cause the floor is icy cold in the morning) and grabbed my concordance.
I am still interested on learning about love. The very first mention of the word love in the NIV is found in Genesis 20:13. Here Abraham is deceiving Abimilech by telling him that Sarah is his sister. He tells Sarah, that if you love me..you will tell Abimilech that you are my sister. (I later read that she IS his sister from another mother...weird)
That isn't a very good example of love. Now I'm sure there are cultural significances and religious commentaries written about this passage, but as it reads to me... this doesn't sound like the love God wants me to show others.
Then, as I continue to read through the concordance, looking at passages and comparing the different Hebrew words for love, I come across Psalm 136.
Over and over the author writes "His love endures forever."
The Niv says "His love endures forever"
KJV says "His mercy endureth forever"
NLT says "His faithful love endures forever."
NASB says "For His lovingkindness is everlasting."
RSV says "for his steadfast love endures for ever."

His...This is implying that it is God from the previous part of the verse...Give thanks to the Lord, the word Lord meaning Yahweh
His = Yahweh, or God

Love, from the word checed (pronounced kheh-sed) means "in a good sense, zeal towards anyone, love, kindness"
Love = love and kindness

Endures forever, comes from the word owlam (pronounced O-lam) means, continuous, perpetual, everlasting or indefinite.
Endures forever = everlasting

That puts a whole new spin on the kind of Love God has for us I think. OK, I know... this is basic Sunday School stuff... but it helps to put thing into perspective doesn't it.

Yahweh checed owlam...

Love Part 3

This morning, I wanted to see an example of God's love. Not really an example, but something that said He loved me. It's not like I'm looking for proof, I know what the Bible says, but as I read through the concordance at the back, I see how it's implied more then it's said.
I can imply that I love my wife and kids, they may not know it unless I say it to them.
The first thing I cam up with is of course John 3:16... For God SO LOVED the world...This is good because it gives me an example as well... the ultimate example of love where God gives up his son Jesus for the sake of the world... and I am part of the world.
Then in John 15, Jesus says " As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you..." This is what I needed to hear...because it's nice to hear it when someone says they love you.
Saying it is not the end ll be all either because words are just words...
When you combine these two, you get Jesus saying he loves us and you get the perfect example... Love in words and in actions...
So, saying "I love peas", and actually eating the peas is completely different. I can say I love people, but unless I am showing that love, my words are just empty words...
I know all of this, but sometimes it's a good little reminder...
What's going to happen tomorrow?

Love...part deux

Did you know that the word love is in the Bible like a gazillion times. I thought about doing a word study on love to help me understand it a little better. I changed my mind!
I'm still stuck however. Jesus Says "love as I have loved you", " there is no greater love than this, if you are willing to lay down your life for a friend".
Peter and Paul also say "love with brotherly love".
Is there a difference. There must be. Jesus knew how to really love. Everyone else loves in a manner that they can understand.
So, on Saturday, we went for a drive to pick up a few things. We passed by a man walking across the highway. He was a farmer who's truck had broken down in the field. The town that he was walking to was about 500 meters away; across the highway and down the service road. It wasn't cold; He didn't try to wave anybody down; he was just walking.
My wife said "stop, lets give him a ride...We had already passed him so by stopping I would have to turn around and go back.
I said, why, he doesn't have very far to go...
My wife was trying to show love I think... at least love through kindness and compassion.
I on the other hand, was too focused on the destination. I didn't do a very good job showing love.
It's like I only show love when it suits me.
That may not be all of the time... but often. This disheartens me.
Things to ponder this morning!

Love...that is a question? (2 John)

Could I be missing Love. That is a really profound question and one that I think should be looked into. The reason I ask this is because of Sunday School. We read 2 John (the whole thing...took us about a minute and thirty seconds) and one of the key things we looked at is obeying with love.
Of course I began to look at my own life and that is when I raised the question...
I don't know...but what I do know is that I want to explore this further and see what I come up with.!

School...REALLY!??

I just spent an hour looking at information on the Internet. That's not unusual, I often spend the first part of the morning browsing information on the World Wide Web. This morning, as well as a few other mornings, I have spent browsing through schools. I have the urge to go back to school but I don't want to have to uproot my family and move again only for a couple years. I mean, I do want to move, but I would like to go someplace where my family can settle for a little while. Going to a school would only be for a couple of years before we would have to move again.
Hey, I like moving, but we don't want to get too ridiculous.
So, I checked out a School called Liberty University. They are a fully accredited school that offers complete Masters Degrees online. Not all masters degrees, but some. I have been thinking about getting a Masters of Religious Education Degree. Many churches like it when the person they are hiring has Seminary training.
I have thought of this before and have passed it off because I felt like it was the wrong reason, however, having been actively seeking a job for the last 4 months and coming up with nothing, I thought that maybe I should do something.
It's a big step. As I was browsing through the Syllabus, all of the paper writing, reading, and extra work came flooding back. Gosh... that was difficult the first time, this time there is twice as much reading and writing.
I will be in MUCH prayer as I consider this.

What is Human nature? (John 19)

Ok, here's a question: Why do we get so upset when we see someone beating a dog, but when there's a fight between people we pick a side and cheer.
I've just read John 19, the part of the Bible where Jesus gets flogged and then crucified. I haven't gotten to the crucifixion part yet; I just had to stop at the flogging part.
How insensitive must the pharisees and chief priests be? Pilate sends out Jesus; who had just been flogged; with a crown of thorns atop his head.
What is our natural reaction. Sure, TV has desensitized us, but when we see an injustice in real life, we have a tendency to react. If we fear getting involved, at least we feel remorse at the situation.
I don't think that is just me.
These leaders of the Sanhedrin showed no remorse and were cheering for the Romans, their captors in essence, to continue beating a fellow Jew.
OK, I'm also not stupid, I know that Jesus HAD to die for the forgiveness of sin. It was written in prophecy; it was planned before time; it was what He was meant to do. But. it's difficult not to take into account human nature.
I read in Psalms today that God hates evil. These people would have been considered evil; justifying the death of God's son, but I also remember Jesus saying that he doesn't want anyone to perish but that everyone would have eternal life.
Wanting something and for that something to actually happen are two different things. These men were evil, but even evil men can change once they meet the real Jesus.

Troubleshoot the connections

So, Here it is; another morning staring at a blank screen wondering what to type; searching for a reply or even response from God. I know it's not like that. God is anxious to share with me all kinds of new and fascinating truths. It is me that is not ready.
Christianity doesn't come with a troubleshooting manual. We do have the Bible, a guide book on the do's and don'ts; but what about the times when things just don't seem to be working right?
"If the screen is blank, check all of the connections. If that doesn't work, run a hardware installation program. If that doesn't work, call this number to find the nearest service technician".
Maybe that is the problem. Maybe I need to check my connections. what am I plugged into:
My family... that plug is connected and fairly tightly to I might add
Jesus...there is a connection there, but it seems I keep unplugging it and blowing on the end to make sure it's clean.
The church... that plug seems to have a loose connection. It keeps fading in and out.
The Bible... I am plugged into the word, but I think the polarity is reversed because somedays I just don't get it.
Crazy as this may sound, it is all beginning to make sense. There is something wrong with my connections.
The light just came on... I think I know what I have to do...Time to make some changes...
Hmmm....who knew!

Do not be afraid or discouraged declares the Lord

It is taking me a long time to read John. It has so much theological significance. Sometimes I find it hard to wade through it. That is what it feel like. Have you ever cut off a piece of steak and put it in your mouth, only to find out that the piece was too big. You start chewing, but there's little room left to chew in our mouth. you don't want to spit it out because that would be embarrassing. so you keep chewing, hoping that no one will notice how much you're struggling. You finally end up swallowing big chunks that you have bitten off, and getting the portion down to a manageable size. You may be eating it, but you're not really enjoying it or getting all you need out of it. Stupid big piece of steak.
But it could all be because of my attitude as well. I read John 17 today, where Jesus prays for himself, his disciples, and for all believers. It is a really good passage, but I am so caught up in my own situation, that I fail to appreciate the very words Jesus has spoken.
It is sad that it happens, but it has happened a lot over the last few months. I am sure that I am not the only one that gets caught up in his own problems.
But...I will not give up. I need to persevere and push through it. I will not give in to the temptation of "doing it on my own". I will continue to read the bible everyday and jot down my own feeble thoughts. I have too...there is too much at stake.
God is more important than that. Jesus died on the cross; suffered immeasurable pain and humiliation; and did this all for me. The least I can do is suck it up and keep moving forward, past my problems and my selfishness and onto the next task God has prepared for me in advance.
I have seen that too often in too many people.
Do not be afraid or DISCOURAGED declares the Lord, For I am with you.
Do not be afraid or discouraged declares the Lord, FOR I AM I WITH YOU.
DO NOT be afraid or discouraged declares the Lord, for I am with you....

OK... I get it!

Isn't it strange how the Bible works? (John 15)

I have been thinking about this passage all day. " I am the vine and you are the branches. If you abide in me and I in you you will bear much fruit. Apart from me you can do nothing" (my own paraphrase... I memorized in in college and that's how it comes out in my head).
It has really got me thinking today. What does it really mean. I suppose I could go to the commentaries and find out the true Greek meaning, but what does it mean to me today.
Over the last few days, I have been dealing with other issues that don't actually personally involve me. The involve a member of my family whom I love. It has been a case of "what to do". In some moments, I want to do everything I can, but there are other moments where I just want to shut down. Our emotions play such an important role in the way that we feel. When things are really difficult, my body wants to stop working, crawl into the fetal position and forget EVERYTHING. Of course, after a few hours of lying there rocking back and forth with my thumb in my mouth, I realize that things aren't going to go away. Sooner or later we have to deal with.
and then there's the passage, I am the vine and you are the branches... It's funny but the branch can't survive on it's own. It needs the constant supply of nutrients that the vine gives.
I know this isn't what the passage means, but today, this is what it means to me.
Strange how the Bible works!

Jesus says... " I am the Way...."

" I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life. Nobody comes to the father except through me"

This is a pivotal passage in the entire new Testament. Jesus has been sharing statements like this through the book so far; I am the Gate, I am the bread of life. These things would have been difficult for the disciples to hear and understand. Imagine Philip looking at Jesus and picturing him as a gate with his arms and legs spread wide to reach the other side...swinging wide and letting the sheep in...or Matthew picturing Jesus as a loaf of bread, fresh from the oven with a little piece of margarine slowly melting on top!
But now, Jesus is saying that I am the WAY... the way to the Father. The Father was someone they could relate too... Just like us, they probably had images of what the father looked like; tall and stately, glowing white with a perfect white beard and long flowing robes. The Father, who lived in Heaven..yet another imagery.
I am the WAY to the Father; "that is someplace I would like to go...", they think. I don't want to spend time in the sheep pen nor do I want to hang out in the bakery, but heaven sounds like a great place.
hmmm

This too shall pass.

It's been quite a few days since I last wrote an entry into this journal. I am trying to keep a positive outlook on life, and most days i do well, but last week I had a few very rough days. It's all apart of being human I guess. There is still so much residual bitterness left. It isn't a great amount, but it's enough to remind me of all the injustices that have happened to me and my family. At least that is what they feel like to me. I suppose in God's eyes, everything was predestined to happen just as it has. That's when I get angry and hurt, thinking that the things that have happened, happened for a reason. Am I being tested? Of course I am. Every moment of every day is a test.
Then I look back over my life, and I realize that this moment of uncertainty is just that, a moment. It too shall pass and the glory of the Lord will shine from me for all to see.
Oh I hope it passes soon. This is my cry!

A part of prophecy (John 12)

I'm finding that the book of John isn't very systematic. It's linear only in the sense that it talks about Jesus' life and death. I'm no Bible Scholar, so i could be wrong about that. But there is so much in john that to truly appreciate it, you have to take it in small bites. It's like he writes with the shotgun affect. He wants to get everything written down so he writes about everything.

I continued reading chapter 12. I thought I would be able to finish it today, but there was just too much to think about so i decided to stop at verse 19. I read about the triumphal entry and I was fascinated by one phrase.

" At first his disciples did not understand all this. Only after Jesus was glorified did they realize that these things had been written about him and that they had done these things to him".

John could be talking about a number of things here, but the one thing that comes to mind is when Jesus asked them to fetch him a donkey. At the time it may have seemed like another one of Jesus wild and crazy ideas, but looking back they realized that it was prophecy. How would that make you feel knowing that you were a part of the prophecy of the coming King of Israel.

We truly do not know the consequences of our actions. We do have the power to affect peoples lives.
I have to think on this a little more.

Who are you? (John 12:1-11)

Six days before the Passover, Jesus arrived at Bethany, where Lazarus lived, whom Jesus had raised from the dead. Here a dinner was given in Jesus' honor. Martha served, while Lazarus was among those reclining at the table with him. Then Mary took about a pint of pure nard, an expensive perfume; she poured it on Jesus' feet and wiped his feet with her hair. And the house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume.
But one of his disciples, Judas Iscariot, who was later to betray him, objected, "Why wasn't this perfume sold and the money given to the poor? It was worth a year's wages." He did not say this because he cared about the poor but because he was a thief; as keeper of the money bag, he used to help himself to what was put into it.
"Leave her alone," Jesus replied. " It was intended that she should save this perfume for the day of my burial. You will always have the poor among you, but you will not always have me."
Meanwhile a large crowd of Jews found out that Jesus was there and came, not only because of him but also to see Lazarus, whom he had raised from the dead. So the chief priests made plans to kill Lazarus as well, for on account of him many of the Jews were going over to Jesus and putting their faith in him.


There is a lot of information in this short passage. A few things I knew and remember, a few things were new to me.
I know the importance of the perfume on the feet, I've learned about that and heard about it from several sermons. The two people I want to look at this morning are Judas and Lazarus.

Judas was a dishonest man. We know this from the stories about how he betrayed Jesus. We learn here that he also stole from the treasury. It's odd that he held on to the money and not Matthew the Tax collector. Of course, they probably didn't trust Matthew because he was a tax collector and tax collectors were notorious for skimming a little off the top. So they give the money to Judas. He must have seemed trustworthy on the outside in order to be placed with such a large responsibility.
On the Outside, Judas was trustworthy; on the inside he was deceptive. He had fooled all of the other disciples and people he called friends. He did this for several years. He was doing all the right things, but inside he was corrupt.
Why are people like that? What is the benefit? Who are they trying to fool?

Lazarus on the other hand was completely different. he was Jesus' friend. "Jesus wept" over his death, but He raised him from the dead and gave him new life. Many people were coming to know Jesus because of Lazarus; and what did Lazarus do to receive such notoriety? He Died? He did nothing but die. Jesus did the work by raising him from the dead. Because of what Jesus did through Lazarus, many people were believing. Before I believed in Jesus, I was dead. I was a sinner who knew no different. I'm still a sinner, but I now know that there is a savior who can and has raised me from the dead. I trust i Him to keep me alive and He loves me just like he loved Lazarus.

Who are you?

Just a couple things... (John 11)

This morning I read about the death of Lazarus. It all happened so that Jesus could show the people his power and his obedience to God the Father.
But there are a couple of other things that I noticed this morning that I never knew...
1) I saw a different side of Thomas. The disciples were afraid to go back to Judea because the last time they were there, the Pharisees threatened to have Jesus stoned. Thomas spoke up and says "Let us also go that we may die with him". Thomas did show a courageous side.
2) God still spoke to some of the pharisees and high priests, as we learned through Caiaphas. He had prophesied that Jesus would die FOR the Jewish people and that his death would even unite the jews scattered among the nations. Not even Caiaphas was able to discern what it all meant, but he was privy to the information.

I don't understand this passage, I will have to look it up to find out the historical significance..."If we let him go on like this, everyone will believe in him, and the Romans will come and take away both our place and our nation".

I'll figure it out later...

I'm sorry, what did you say? (John 10)

I have the uncanny ability ( my wife calls it a curse ) to tune everything out when I am doing something. If I am focused, Someone could be talking right beside me and I won't be able to hear them. Really, I'm not making this up. It's as though my brain can't comprehend anything else except the task that I am doing. And, it's not as though the task is burdensome that requires all of my attention. It could be something as simple as washing dishes or typing on the computer. Everything else just disappears.
I picture the Pharisees this way. They were so focused on killing Jesus, that they no longer heard what He said. Jesus was explaining to them who He was and what he came to do in this chapter, but they were stuck on the things he said days ago.
My son is like that as well. He will come up with an idae right in the middle of a conversation. He will begin to ask questions, but I will ask him to hold that thought until I am done. It could be a minute or an hour that goes by, the moment I am done, he will ask his question. Whatever I told him during that time went right by because he was so focused on what he wanted to say.
We are like that when it comes to listening to Jesus. We are so focused on what we want that we don't hear what He tries to tell us.

How can we fix that!

Take my own advice!

I don't have anything nice to say this morning. It's like I always tell my son; If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. Maybe that is me today. Maybe later, I will be able to articulate the thoughts surging through my head, but not yet. I'm not even in a bad mood!! I have just been doing too much thinking lately and I would like it to stop!
It seems like lately, all of my blogs have been short and pointless...but after all, these are the things that go on in a Christians life... might as well be honest about them.
Being a Christian man is not all peaches and cream and sunshine...right!
I'm sure I'm not done with this thought yet... but it's time I did something else...
Bear with me!

He is different then the rest. (John 7)

I am glad that I have a study Bible. Sometimes, it's not always 100% accurate, as I have found out through further study into other passages, but it is accurate enough to give me a better understanding.
I continued reading chapter 7 today. At the end of the chapter, the guards were told to arrest Jesus who was teaching in the temple. They went back to the chief priests empty handed and were asked why.
The simply said " No one has ever spoken the way this man does".

He's not like the pharisees and the chief priests. He's not like others who have attempted to teach religion or philosophy. He speaks like he knows first hand. He speaks with power and authority. He speaks with love and compassion.
hmmm

Blah...(John 7)

I didn't want to tackle chapter 6. The bread of life discourse is a complicated one to swallow. I know what it means, but try explaining it to someone who doesn't believe. It's a difficult passage. Maybe someday, i will try, but not today.
I started reading chapter 7 instead. Even though the desire is there to get into the word this morning, the desire isn't there to study it (If you can understand that).
Maybe later I will get more of that desire back, but this morning... blah.

Miracles-a-plenty (John 6: 1-24)

These are 2 really great miracles here. I mentioned them a couple days ago, but I didn't know they were so close together in the book of John. First, Jesus feeds five thousand, then he walks on water. That's cool. These are the things we are used to seeing God perform. These are the kinds of things the Israelites were looking for. But then, Jesus Hits them with the next set of versus... "I AM the bread of life"
I know, He is the bread of life, I am able to see the symbolism, but think of how everyone else felt...
More tomorrow.

You won't believe me...(John 5:31-47)

Here's the scene: Jesus is in a courtroom, facing a judge who cannot be seen. The pharisees are on one side, acting as his accusers.
The bailiff calls Jesus to the front; "place your hand upon this book and repeat after me: do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth..."
As Jesus puts his hand on the book, he looks in surprise "Hey... I wrote that", he says.
"Never mind that" the bailiff responds..say the words.
Jesus repeats, "I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help me....umm...ME"
The pharisees quickly stand up and shout " I Object. This man can't swear to himself"
The judge, from off in the distant replies, " Sustained, We are trying to find out about the allegations that you claim to be God son."
"Ok, but you're not going to believe me anyway", Jesus responds.
The pharisees mumble in discontent.
The bailiff calls John the Baptist. After 30 minutes of grueling questions, all John can do is testify to the truth. The pharisees look at John, and figure that this man must be conspiring with Jesus. How could he possibly be testifying about Jesus being the light of the world.
Jesus then calls Moses to take the stand.
The whole crowd stands to take notice of this. Moses, the one who wrote the law. Surely He can tell us who the light is. He will finally put this man in his place.
after a few seconds of waiting, one of the pharisees shouts out " is this some kind of joke. Moses can't be here. he's been dead for thousands of years"
Suddenly, Jesus recites the words that Moses wrote: The scepter will not depart from Judah, nor the rulers staff from between his feet, until it comes to whom it belongs."
"Does he think that this is written about him", cries one of the pharisees.
Jesus continues. A ruler will come out of Jacob and destroy the survivors of the city. The Lord your God will raise up for you a prophet like me from among your own brothers. You must listen to him."
"Surely this man is crazy, these WORDS we know, but we do not know you." reply the pharisees.
"That is the problem", whispers Jesus. " You put your faith in words written on page, but you will not see the truth that is within those words. The truth which stands before you. I do not need to testify for myself. I do this for your benefit only. I have my Heavenly father to testify for me. If you would open up your eyes and see the truth, you would be saved. By the One who wrote the words. Not Moses, but Jesus.
But you do not believe what he wrote, how will you believe what I say"
And with that, Jesus exits the courtroom.

This is my view of John 5: 31-47...

Huh, part 2 (John 5:24-30)

Onward and upward, lets continue with John chapter 5...

24 “I tell you the truth, those who listen to my message and believe in God who sent me have eternal life. They will never be condemned for their sins, but they have already passed from death into life.

Hey..this part I get. If you believe in Jesus, you will be saved...thie is the message of the Bible. We will not be condemned for our sins because Jesus has forgiven us...Yah


25 “And I assure you that the time is coming, indeed it’s here now, when the dead will hear my voice—the voice of the Son of God. And those who listen will live.

OK, I had to go back to the Greek for this one... When Jesus is talking about the dead in this passage, He could mean one of two things. The word Dead in Greek is Nekros, which could mean physically dead, or spiritually dead. I'm going to have to go with spiritually dead because how often do the dead listen...their dead...that means their ears don't work!

26 The Father has life in himself, and he has granted that same life-giving power to his Son.

Life...this isn't the life where you wake up in the morning, stretch your arms and say "man it's good to be alive". This is LIFE, the fullness of life, the God given, God devoted kind of life. This isn't the same kind of life mentioned in verse 25, it is much more.


27 And he has given him authority to judge everyone because he is the Son of Man.

I think I got a glimpse here... I love glimpses... lets me know that Iam on the right track. God has given Jesus the authority to judge because He is the son of man. He is also the son of God, but who better to judge than someone who has lived and experienced life!


28 Don’t be so surprised! Indeed, the time is coming when all the dead in their graves will hear the voice of God’s Son, 29 and they will rise again. Those who have done good will rise to experience eternal life, and those who have continued in evil will rise to experience judgment.

This gets a little more confusing. Jesus is saying that all of the dead, not just spiritual, but physical, will hear the voice of God. people that have been dead for thousands of years have now turned to ash. I know it's possible for God to reform and remake all of these dead people, He's done it before in Ezekiel. Is this one of those passages that is written in a way so that our puny minds can comprehend. I believe that the dead will hear and those that respond will be saved. The ones with righteous hearts will be saved, but those with wicked hearts will be condemned.I', going to go with that because it's hard for my puny mind to comprehend!!


30 I can do nothing on my own. I judge as God tells me. Therefore, my judgment is just, because I carry out the will of the one who sent me, not my own will.

Finally for today, Jesus says..."Trust me" I will make sure you get a fair trial.

ouch..my brain hurts

Huh...John 5; part 1

John 5 starts out great...There's an amazing story of a man who gets healed and walks away happy. He gets in trouble for carrying his mat on the sabbath, but that's beside the point. He can walk. Hooray. Jesus is awesome.
Then I hit a brick wall.
I started reading vs 19 and on and it sounded like stereo instructions.

"plug the white wire into the slot marked tab A while holding on to the green wire
with your toes...wiggle your nose to the left and shake your neighbors dog."

I will not accept defeat... I am going to have to approach this passage with a little more time and care, because I know that it is important. It has to be, it's written in RED...

Ok...1 piece at a time...here we go...in the New Living Translation...

19 So Jesus explained, “I tell you the truth, the Son can do nothing by himself. He does only what he sees the Father doing. Whatever the Father does, the Son also does. 20 For the Father loves the Son and shows him everything he is doing. In fact, the Father will show him how to do even greater works than healing this man. Then you will truly be astonished.

I get this... Jesus and the Father are close. He has learned everything from the father. They are kinda intertwined with the Trinity and all...plus everything Jesus does, He has "permission" of sorts. And, healing this man is nothing compared to the other things that we will see... (feeding 5000, walking on water, coming back from the dead..those kinds of things.)


21 For just as the Father gives life to those he raises from the dead, so the Son gives life to anyone he wants.

I had to do a little research here. The Jews firmly believed that God could raise people from the dead and that He was the only one (NIV study notes). To me, it sounds like a little bit of foreshadowing. Also, Jesus is saying that He has the power to raise the dead as well. Not only the power to raise the dead, but also to give eternal life...Both of those statements would have caused an uproar amongst the people who held true to the law.


22 In addition, the Father judges no one. Instead, he has given the Son absolute authority to judge, 23 so that everyone will honor the Son, just as they honor the Father. Anyone who does not honor the Son is certainly not honoring the Father who sent him.


Now. Jesus is telling the people that it is the son has has been given authority to judge, and people need to honor that fact...honoring GOD is one thing, but now this man is telling the people to honor him who was sent from God. These people have never seen God in the flesh. they are used to hearing stories about the burning bush, the pillar of fire, awesome sightings of God as he showed his amazing power. Now, they are being told by a man (whom I have read wasn't that physically attractive ...but who really knows that) that they are to honor him like they would honor God.
I get the feeling that when these Rabbi's and Jewish leaders were reading the scriptures, they weren't completely getting the full picture. They had in mind what was going to happen, and they weren't going to stray from it. They were stubborn, which Jesus has said to them to their faces on several occasions.

OK...that's it for now... more tomorrow!

There is no spoon. (John 4:43-54)

Have you ever watched the Matrix? There is one scene where Neo visits the Oracle. She's talking all philosophical trying her best to convince us, the audience, that she has some sort of divine power. She says to Neo;
" I have to tell you something, but I think you already know" [Oracle]
" I'm not the ONE" [Neo]
" I hate giving good people bad news. You have the gift, but it seems like you're waiting for something" [Oracle]

Neo then goes on to win the battle and save the day, learning that he is the one. He is all confused about the events that had just happened.
Morpheus comes along and says "The oracle told you exactly what you needed to hear"

What does this have to do with John 4?
In versus 43-54, Jesus meets an official whose son is dying. Jesus tells the man "Unless you people seen miraculous signs and wonders, you will never believe." Jesus then goes on to say, "Go on, your son will live"
The official believed Jesus. After all, what choice did he have. Imagine the walk home though. Did his son get better? How could Jesus have healed him from miles away? If my son dies, Who am I going to blame? ...and what did Jesus mean when he said "You will never believe? He doesn't know me? His mind would have been racing the entire time.
of course, at the end of the story, The boy lives and the official and his entire household believe. Jesus told him exactly what he needed to hear.

We don't always get the full picture when Jesus is talking to us. We only get snippits of what the future holds. We get exactly what we need for the moment. I imagine that if we were to get the whole picture, we would go absolutely mad. God has so much in store for us, but we can't rush Him. He knows how much we can handle and leaves us at that. That is good.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and He will make your paths straight.

The Samaritan Woman (John 4)

So, I read John chapter 4 and I had to stop at vs 42. So far, it started out with the Samaritan woman. She was somewhat of an immoral woman. Today's language would have something else to say about her. She's had 5 husbands and isn't married to the man she's with right now. First of all... She's a woman, and men didn't talk to woman in those days unless you were married (even then who knows), and second, she's Samaritan.
Way back in the old Testament, there was a feud between Israel and Judah. They started out as one nation, but it didn't last long. Judah became Judea and Israel became Samaria. (in a nutshell). Judea always looked down on Samaria, and from reading the Bible, it seems like they made no bones about it. you get the sense that Samaritans were second class citizens. Jesus goes and breaks all of the rules by talking to a immoral Samaritan woman (with love and compassion no less). This woman shares what she has seen and heard and many other SAMARITANS believe because of her. Then they come and hear for themselves and believe even more. Jesus stays and teaches these so called enemies of Judea for 2 more days. Unheard of!
Then, the disciples, all from Judea no doubt, see Jesus talking to and teaching Samaritans. Some of the disciples (if not all at this point) thought that Jesus was going to be the warrior king come to defeat all of Judah's enemies. What they must have thought.
Jesus often stepped outside of the box that we have placed church into. He did whatever it takes to reach a lost and dying world.

What have we done?

Time to step aside. (John 3)

We measure everything we do by how successful we are. Let's face it, if we are not successful, then what are we. Successful: Accomplishing an aim or purpose; having achieved popularity, wealth or distinction.
The opposite must also be true then...not accomplishing an aim or purpose ie; failing, stumbling, making mistakes. Not having popularity, unpopular, outcast, alone...with no money, poor, destitute...and with no distinction, ordinary, no special qualities...
What end of the spectrum would you rather be on?
When Jesus came along during John chapter 3, Johns disciples were a little jealous that Jesus was getting all of the attention. John was the man for a long time before Jesus came. People were coming to him in great numbers, being baptized in the Jordan river. All of a sudden this other guy shows up, not only baptizing, but talking about Heaven. Granted, he was the GUY John had been talking about for years, the SON OF GOD; but why didn't we get a piece of the action.
Successful...John didn't measure his life by how successful he was. His purpose was simple: to point people to Jesus; to tell people that Jesus was coming; to share with others how important Jesus would be in their lives. Once Jesus came, it was time for John to step away because John wasn't the focus...It was Jesus all along.

So John’s disciples came to him and said, “Rabbi, the man you met on the other side of the Jordan River, the one you identified as the Messiah, is also baptizing people. And everybody is going to him instead of coming to us.”
John replied, “No one can receive anything unless God gives it from heaven. You yourselves know how plainly I told you, ‘I am not the Messiah. I am only here to prepare the way for him.’ It is the bridegroom who marries the bride, and the best man is simply glad to stand with him and hear his vows. Therefore, I am filled with joy at his success. He must become greater and greater, and I must become less and less.
“He has come from above and is greater than anyone else. We are of the earth, and we speak of earthly things, but he has come from heaven and is greater than anyone else. He testifies about what he has seen and heard, but how few believe what he tells them! Anyone who accepts his testimony can affirm that God is true. For he is sent by God. He speaks God’s words, for God gives him the Spirit without limit. The Father loves his Son and has put everything into his hands. And anyone who believes in God’s Son has eternal life. Anyone who doesn’t obey the Son will never experience eternal life but remains under God’s angry judgment.”

Random thoughts..nothing to do with this mornings reading.

Here's a thought; what would happen if the churches worked together. I understand the reasoning behind different denominations. There are different people with different gifts and abilities. A person will go where they feel comfortable. OK, I get it; but if the church would set aside their "minor doctrinal issues" and focus on the life Of Jesus Christ ( because after all all evangelicals have that in common), there could be a great movement.
It's strange how this idea came about.
I have been doing a lot of research on children's ministry. I have noticed one thing; everyone has a different name for their ministry (club congo; faith kids, teamkid, etc etc...)they are all doing the same thing; trying to teach kids in a safe environment. Giving it a catchy name helps the kids believe they are a part of something special.
Look at the AWANA program....hugely popular and interdenominational.
Now think of the opportunities if the churches worked together with one main focus; 1 main curriculum; one common name. Sure, the individual can put their own spin on things, but they can also come together and make a huge impact. Kids can feel like they are involved in something global.
Now turn that into every program in the church...men's ministry, women's ministry, youth ministry, the list can go on.
We can worship differently, we can pray differently, we can believe in different forms of baptism...but we can come together once and awhile and celebrate the death and resurrection of Jesus. We can come together to make a greater impact in the community around us. We can set apart out minor differences and show the world who we really are, images of Christ.
Just think of it...instead of having 30 people from your church participating... there could be 300 people from all of the churches, making an impact, building relationships; feeling like they are a part of something big.


Just a thought...

How does Jesus draw us to Himself? (John 1; Psalm 3)

I guess, after reading this passage over the last couple of days, the one part that truly sticks out is vs 43-51. I am trying to figure out what a "true Israelite" is. That's the NIV term...there is also Israelite indeed; true descendant of our ancestor Israel; Genuine son of Israel; and real Israelite. The name Israel means "one who struggles with God" . Nathanael (the true Israelite) was also found under a fig tree, a popular place for people to go when it is hot to think, pray and study. He was described as a man who does not lie, a very truthful man with no deceit. Jesus came up to him and said" I saw you while you were still under the fig tree before Philip called you" and immediately Nathanael says that "you are the Son of God"
To me it sounds like 2 things...1) Nathanael was looking for the truth. Maybe something didn't sit right with the way church was going in 30 AD. He sensed there was more to it than the Rabbis and pharisees were teaching. He wanted answers and wanted the truth. 2) there was something about Jesus that Nathanael trusted right away. maybe it was how he talked, or the way he looked or acted.
Jesus draws us to himself with the way He loves us and cares for us. We can trust Him. Nathanael Trusted him, and he was a seeker of truth.
I want to be a seeker of truth!

lessons, computers, and the book of John

So, I did read yesterday...John chapter 1 and psalm 3. I had every intention of writing in the journal afterward too...but it never came to pass. Now, almost 36 hours afterward, I forgot what I read. OK, so I would have to be stupid to forget John chapter 1. It's a pivotal point in the entire Bible. But, what I mean to say is that I didn't spend enough time in this passage to do it justice. I might be here a couple of days to get all of the meat out of it. All...that's kinda funny...ok enough meat to fill me up for the time being. My computer died a couple days ago and I have been using Tina's (more about that on the website blog) but I managed to revive it (at least for a couple more days anyway. since I didn't really have much to lose, I googled "how to fix a laptop" and followed the instructions. I had pieces here and there...I unplugged this and plugged in that...put it all back together again and the stupid thing came back on again.
Well... that was today. We didn't go to church because Tina drove to Saskatoon for the weekend, so all day long I played with the computer...rebooting, formatting, praying that every time the screen flickered it wasn't going to shut down again.
As I laid in bed last night...(oh around 1:00am), I realized how fortunate I am. I'm sure it wasn't me.. it was God reminding me...(sometimes I forget). I have three wonderful children whom I love and adore, and I think for the most part, they care for me too... and I have a wife who loves me as well. I have a heavenly Father who even through all of the mistakes I make still teaches me valuable lessons. As far as I know, I'm healthy and I have a roof over my head and food in the pantry.
I really can't say much more then that...
Back to John tonight and possibly even tomorrow.

Until later...

Well. I couldn't wait. I read the rest of Acts yesterday. I always think that the last chapter is cut short. There should be a little more. But, when it's the end...it's the end. So this morning, I will start to read the book of John. I thought maybe I should get into a little more meat. I'm still going to continue to read psalms as well. I am in chapter 3 of psalms...but it's too late in the early morning to start now... I will wait until everyone goes to school before I start reading...until later!

I wish I had answers!

I continue on, reading the book of Acts. Chapter 25 and 26 this morning, I had to stop myself from reading further. It's exciting knowing that the Bible can still have that affect on me. I know what's going to happen, yet I find myself unable to put it down. Right now, I am just reading for my enjoyment. I haven't received any profound message from the Holy Spirit, but maybe that's just it. The Bible can be read for pleasure as well. That is the joy of the Lord. He makes sure we have everything we need in his word.
I know what it's like to be discontent though. The last few months have been trying for me and my family. The "not knowing" part is very hard. The other thing that has been difficult is NOT trying to take things into my own hands. I have considered just picking up everything and moving without selling the house. I mean, I will do it if I have to and leave the house up to God and the Realtor, but in my mind, I'm just thinking of going somewhere where I can find work. Of course, Rent is stupid expensive now...it's been a long time since we rented...so how are we going to afford that...and where do we go.
ohh...where's that magic eigthball when you need it...(just kidding)
You see, I know God has a plan for us...but when I see my family struggling, I want to do something about it. My Children don't have any friends, some of them are struggling in school, besides their parents, they don't have any other Christian influences in their lives...God, am I just not seeing the big picture...or can I see the big picture but not focusing on the little everyday pictures...
I wish I had answers!

Acts 24, on to Ceasarea

Wouldn't it be interesting if they made a modern movie about the story of Paul's life. I have been reading the book of acts, and I'm getting near the end. It reads like a novel and it's hard to put it down. This weekend, I managed to read chapters 17-22 and this morning I read chapter 23. I do find it interesting how the Roman guards are treating Paul. it's like he's royalty. They are doing their best to protect him because he is a Roman citizen, but they won't hesitate to beat the Jews. When they struck Paul, he informed them He was a Roman Citizen, and they immediately felt remorse. Even when the transferred him to Caesarea, he was put in Herod's palace for protection. I find it interesting anyway!

Family Camp, Sept 3-5

We just got back from family camp at the Shekinah Retreat center. It was sponsored by the Northern Lights Baptist Association. We've been attending Cavalry Baptist Church in Moose Jaw (and Scarborough Baptist Church in Prince Albert). It was nice to see friends again and talk to people that I have seen before, but have never really met. I think the main thing that I was happy about was the sense of belonging. I was comfortable because we were all like minded individuals just sitting around having a good time. I haven't felt that way in a long time. Ever since I got here in Mossbank, I have felt like I don't belong. It's hard to communicate that to people. Tina has fit in, and has even made a few friends, but for some reason, I still feel like an outsider. My life as a Christian has always revolved around church and since I can't minister or even serve in the church here, I have felt on the outs. I have been excited going to church in Moose Jaw, because I feel needed again (not that I am doing anything). But I long for ministry. I am going a little stir crazy.

Nothing! (Acts 16)

Acts 16... I got nothing today. I have read and reread this passage quite a bit over the last few months. I think the problem is that I keep looking at the historical details and not at the words of God.
i still got nothing...If I get a chance, I will try to look at it again later!

Circumcision (Acts 16 1-5)

There is nothing new in the church now that wasn't happening 2000 years ago. Let me explain. As I start to read acts16, I come across the passage right at the very beginning of the chapter; the part where Timothy gets circumcised. Poor Timothy... I imagine it's painful as a child, but as an adult! OUCH! That's not the point though. In the previous chapter, the Jewish people were demanding that the new gentile converts be circumcised, because that's how it has always been. A group of disciples took it to the church elders where there was great debate. It was then decided that circumcision wasn't necessary. After that they sent out a letter to be read to the Jews and gentiles stating they had to live a Godly life. Now Paul finds Timothy and has him circumcised because it will be better for his ministry with the Jews. (This isn't antisemitism, this is just out of the Bible...Zondervan NIV, page 1679)
But back to today's church... many of the church elders and leaders will say it's alright to do this or that...but they still expect you to do it the way they want. I'm not trying to be bitter or angry at anything; i have seen it enough it many churches to know that this is fact in most cases. C'mon people, it isn't working the way you want it too. Think differently! People are not flying to the church in droves. Open your mind to the possibilities of a new way of doing church. I don't know what that looks like yet, but when I see it, I hope I can get on board!

Splittsville...Acts 15

Some time later Paul said to Barnabas, "Let us go back and visit the brothers in all the towns where we preached the word of the Lord and see how they are doing." Barnabas wanted to take John, also called Mark, with them, but Paul did not think it wise to take him, because he had deserted them in Pamphylia and had not continued with them in the work. They had such a sharp disagreement that they parted company. Barnabas took Mark and sailed for Cyprus, but Paul chose Silas and left, commended by the brothers to the grace of the Lord. He went through Syria and Cilicia, strengthening the churches.

These 2 guys had been together a very long time. They had seen some amazing things, and then all of the sudden...BAM...there split like the Beatles...I find this incredible, but not unbelievable. Kinda makes you wonder what happened. What is just over the issue of Mark, or was there something else.
hmmm

Ramblings...back to the Bible tomorrow.

Things that have been going through my mind lately:

Ministry is messy. People get involved with their won agenda and ideas. That's not always a bad thing, but sometimes it can be.

People are messed up. Christians that are trying to live a Godly life but keep doing things that are so unGodly. that's not only Christians, it's non Christians as well... or as I heard the other day...pre-Christians.

Back everything up. Scripture is the best tool for fact checking. If you are unsure of something, back it up with scripture. And don't assume the Bible says something when it does not.

We have mentally checked out. In our minds, we no longer live in Mossbank, we have checked out and have packed our bags. The sad part about it is that Tina has made a few friends. if we could take them with us, that would be great. The other sad part is that my kids don't have many friends.

Arrgghhhhh

I'm getting a little restless. I know I should be patient and wait upon the Lord, but it has been a long time since I have been really active. I just want something to happen. What do I need to do? Do i need to do anything? What does God want me to do? These are all questions I have asked before.

Arrrghhh

Acts 14

The people of Lystra were completely blinded by own interests I guess. They saw the signs and miracles being performed by Paul and Barnabas, and claimed that these two men were gods Zeus and Hermes. Even after they claimed otherwise, the people tried to offer sacrifices to them.

Even when the truth is right in front of us, sometimes we only see what we want to see.
Hmmm

Shake the dust...(Acts 13)

You can't stop the gospel. That is what it is saying in Acts 13. Paul and Barnabas were sent to the gentile cities. Sure, there were Jewish synagogues there, that was the platform with which Paul used to speak; but when the Jewish leaders saw that Paul was making more of an impact on the city then they were, they were furious. So they did what any good Jewish leader would do and threw them out of the city. Too late though, The people, almost the whole city, heard the message and many became disciples and the Holy Spirit came upon them... HA...in your face...(just kidding). That's kinda how I felt when I read it. If only we could be as bold as Paul and Barnabas.

Pray for others...

Over the last few months, I have been trying to see things from a different perspective. It's easy to get ourselves wrapped up in our own little world, where nothing else matters but the things that affect us. I am beginning to think outside the box and away from my own problems in life. Oh, sure, I have them.... everyone does, but when you see them in light of someone else, they suddenly seem small and insignificant. All over the world...everywhere, people are dealing with situations in life that they can't control by themselves. Everyone is messed up in some sort of way...and everyone needs a savior. I write this for myself as well as anyone else who reads this. I come back to the things I have written quite often so this will serve as a reminder for me... Stop being selfish. Take a look around and see that there are those around that need our prayers. It's not about me... it's about others. Jesus says "love your neighbor as yourself". That neighbor may be across the street or around the world. Get to know what other problems are out there, learn people's names, find out as much as you can...get involved at a personal level...but pray.

Eaten by worms (Acts 12)

Acts cracks me up... First thing this morning, I read about Peter's escape from prison. The angel of the Lord is sent to wake him up, and leads him out the door. His chains are gone and the door miraculously opens. Good Stuff!... but the entire time, Peter thinks he's dreaming. It's not until he's a ways away from the prison and the angel leaves does he realize..."hey...I'm awake!" Imagine the thought process that was reeling inside his head...
Then, he goes to the place where a group had gathered to pray; specifically for him. When he shows up at the door, Rhoda... a servant girl is so excited, that she doesn't even let him in... Understandable really... James had just been executed and Peter was next. The group didn't know if Peter was alive or dead... if he's dead...is this a ghost knocking at my door?? I would be scared too!
But the kicker comes when herod, the Jewish leader, claims to be a god... and an angel of the Lord struck him down... He was eaten by worms and died. WORMS...I don't know what kind of worms they were, but in my mind I'm thinking of your everyday garden variety type worm... the ones you see after a long rain. what a slow and painful death that would have been.
hmmm

Acts...I didn't know !!

It has been a long time since I read Acts. I wonder if I read it as part of my school work. nevertheless, I am looking at acts in a whole new way. There are some things in here that I never really knew for sure, or had assumed by reading other passages and books in the Bible. I read Acts 11 yesterday and acts 12 today. I learned a lot about Peter and even Barnabas and Saul. I can't talk about it now... But as I write this, I encourage anyone and even myself to take another look at Acts.

Think Orange.

I woke up and read this morning, and it was good stuff, but I keep thinking about something else. I am reading this book called "Think Orange". It is an amazing read. It's all about Children and Family Ministry and how church and Families need to get together to teach children.
Some of the stuff is out there a little, but for the most part, the author has done his research. God has inspired many people to realize the same thing. It's how I feel and how I have felt over the last few years.
As I read, I can't help but think that maybe I didn't mess my kids up that bad after all...maybe I am on the right track. That is encouraging... Well, only 100 pages left to go... better finish up!

Simon the sorcerer (Acts 8)

Simon the Sorcerer...what an interesting story. Here was a guy who performed magic for all to see, and everyone, regardless of stature, was amazed. Philip comes along and starts preaching the gospel and healing the blind and sick. Many people came to know Jesus through this and Simon was amazed. Simon himself believed and was baptized. He followed Philip around everywhere; probably in awe of the miracles Philip was performing. Remember, Simon was a sorcerer, performing Magic himself. These miracles would have seemed like elaborate illusions to Simon with long lasting outcomes. Magic is all he knows. He is like a sponge wanting to know more. All of the miracles that are happening; he is relating them to magic tricks he has performed in the past. I'm sure his belief in Jesus is real, otherwise they wouldn't put it in the Bible, but he is surrounded with all kinds of baggage.
Then, when Peter and John come along and lay hands on the people, they immediately receive the Holy Spirit. Well, this is too much for Simon to bear. That was the coolest trick he had ever seen. I have to know how you did that he explains. He is used to be the center of attention, and with that kind of power at his disposal, he would become great. He still believes in Jesus...but he has baggage. He doesn't understand or comprehend the difference between believing and trusting...preaching and healing...knowing and understanding.
My question would be... who taught him afterward. Whose disciple did he become.
We teach the word of Jesus, and many people believe and are baptized, but who takes it from head knowledge to heart knowledge?...How does this story end???

Acts 6-8

I've been sitting here for the last 20 minutes reading, and then reading some more, looking for something. It is an amazing read, Acts 6-8. So much is happening. If it was a novel, I wouldn't be able to put it down. In my mind, I try to fill in the blanks... the stoning of Stephen, the apostles scattered and persecuted, Saul with his arrogant approval of it all. What a great movie that would be. But until then, I will imagine the events in my head.
Until tomorrow.

Jelousy and a new way of thinking. (Acts 5)

Acts 5...the high priest was jealous! The apostles were healing many; people from all around were coming to see them, and the high priest was jealous. He wasn't getting the attention anymore, it was all going to these apostles. So, he had them arrested. It's amazing what people in power will do.
And after they had escaped from jail, and were found again teaching in the temple, the guards were told to collect them again and bring them back to the elders of Israel. The guards were afraid. These may have been the same guards that had beaten Jesus and cast lots for his clothes. Arrogant at first, but then afraid after everything had been said and done.
The power of the Holy Spirit is great and these men were getting a taste of that. The apostles were beaten after that. I wonder how they guards felt then.
Curious.

Ananias and Sapphira (acts5)

In acts 5 today I read about Ananias and Sapphira. They had sold their land and were about to convince the apostles that they were just as righteous as the likes of Peter and John. Ananias approached them, planning on deceiving them with the amount of money they had..." yes...this is all I have..." he proclaims, when he actually had some left over, hiding in a bag somewhere. Sapphira attempts the same thing.
You see, it's not the fact that they kept some back, all they had to do was admit it, but they wanted to pretend to be someone they were not.
That happens all of the time in our churches. There are tons of people who fill the pews each Sunday pretending to be someone they are not...ooohh look at what I am wearing, listen to how I pray...then they go home and they are someone all together different.
I know... I have done that a couple times...
But Jesus Knows the difference, and HE is the only one we are to be impressing.
i have thought about that a lot over the years. Some people may ask me "Michael, why do you share everything that goes on inside your head? Don't you think it's to much information?"
And I say, " I want to be transparent so that I don't become someone who I am not".

Are you confused about who you are?

I totally forgot to blog yesterday. The first thing I did when I woke up was to go downstairs to keep doing the laundry. We were on our way to Regina to meet the grandparents and give them the kids for a week. So, preoccupied as I was, I totally forgot.
I read Acts 4 today. The more I hear of what Peter and John are doing, the more I am convinced that I am on the right track. I believe I have the confidence, but not the boldness.
But I am preoccupied again. I keep thinking about people; not anyone in particular, just people. I was browsing Blog sites and reading what others have to say and I came across a few that were different. It's as though they have 2 lives, one that they share with their family, and one that they do not.
Why do people do that? Why do people lead secret lives, pretend to be one person when they are clearly not. I suppose I should take it with a grain of salt, because you can type anything on the Internet.
This has actually opened my eyes a little about the downfall of humanity. I'm not talking about anything terrible, but I am saying that some people are confused about who they are.
One of the benefits of truly putting your trust in Jesus is that you don't have to be confused anymore. Sure, the may be some times of confusion, but if we put our faith in Him and do what He commands, we will be transformed into his likeness. there is not doubt about who you are anymore. That is who I want to become.

Change my focus. (Acts 3)

The disciples were filled with such confidence after they received the Holy Spirit. I came across the passage in Acts 3 where Peter and John were walking into the temple. There was a man who was crippled and begging for money. it's interesting to note, when they walked past the man, and the man had begged, they stopped and told the man to look at them. It's interesting to me because they had the mans complete attention. The beggar was expecting money. If you think about it, the man couldn't walk, so he probably felt like there was no way for him to earn enough money to support himself, they led him to his circumstance of begging for money. Now, there he was, waiting for money with his hand out, and all of the sudden these two men tell him to get up and walk. No longer would he have to bear the shame of being a beggar. He would be able to earn a living, make money, have a family. His attitude would change as well as his circumstance.
Man, what a compelling story if we just read between the lines. We are so focused on the things that we want and of this world. We are like the beggar with our hand out. We expect something, but Jesus gives us something completely different, something life changing. He takes our focus off of what we think is important and gets our full attention.
Love it!

Not alone (acts 2)

So Peter gets up and preaches to the crowd. That part is always amazing. But the more amazing part is what happens afterward. They all got together and celebrated because they had everything in common. That is one of the things I love about Jesus and Christianity. It is the same.
When we were traveling, whenever we went to church, we automatically felt like we had something in common. We worship the same God. although the songs may be different, God is the same. there is an instant bond between Christians that surpasses distances and races. It is an incredible feeling knowing that we are not alone.

The Magic Eight Ball (Acts 1)

I just read several articles on "casting lots".I started reading Acts and came across the passage where the apostles cast lots to determine who would replace Judas as an apostle.
Now, casting lots was like flipping a coin or drawing straws in today's society. It was an impartial way of determining the outcome of something. Many say it is Biblical, many say it is not. What is the answer?
Think about it for just a moment; if you could rely on a Magic eight ball to make all of the hard decisions, it would make life a whole lot easier.
In my case... should I move to Pennsylvania, or stay in Canada...(shake the magic eight ball)
Should I sell my house and business together or sell them separately...( shake the magic eight ball)
Should I go to church in Moose Jaw or Assiniboia...(shake the magic eight ball)
Sure the answers might come... but ask yourself this... are we asking the right questions.
And where does the Holy Spirit come into all of this! where does our sense of peace come from. Casting Lots may be biblical, and some days I wish we had that choice, but we must rely on the Holy Spirit first and foremost.
Then again, who's to say that God can't control the answers in the magic eight ball itself!!

questions to ponder!

The Lord is Patient (2 Peter 3)

What does God have for me this morning. I mean, I learned some new things, especially about Peter and Paul. Peter acknowledged Paul's writings as Godly Inspired in 1 Peter 3:15-16. I wonder if Peter knew that what he was writing was also Godly inspired? I also got to thinking about the end times. Peter mentions that in his letter as well. Every generation has assumed that the end times were going to happen during their lifetime. Even I sometimes wonder if it will happen during mine. All of the signs have been happening throughout history. Some say that they are happening more frequently, but what if we are just aware of these things more. With the information age, we are aware of more of the happenings of the entire world around us, not just the our sphere of influence. It's a thought anyway.
But, back to Peter. I read this passage several times before...even used it as an example in sermons and studies..."The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance". What a day that would be if everyone came to the Christ. Every now and then, I think about that, and try to imagine a world where everyone believed. It's a happy thought!
So what am I doing about it?

Some Days! 2 Peter 2

Peter has some pretty strong words for those that follow false teachers. I don't have much else to say. I am very tired this morning and I have a lot of things to do... I'm probably going to go back to sleep for a few minutes before I get started. I will try to get back to this; maybe this afternoon; but I can't make any promises.
Some days!

"Read it again Sam...! (2 Peter 1)

Have you ever gotten into a good book; I mean a really good book that you just couldn't put down; and about halfway through, you come across a passage that makes you cheer a little for the good guy. That's kind of how I feel reading 2 Peter. He's an encouraging writer that doesn't beat around the bush. I just love it. I have been reading through the Bible ( not in a big hurry) over the last 80 days. I was down at first, but I needed to be in the word every day. I then blog what comes to mind, whatever the Holy Spirit wants to show me. I have been impressed at how my attitude has changed, even my way of thinking. I mean, I knew it was possible, but I really didn't know it could make such a dramatic impact in my Christian life 13 years after my "rebirth". It is exhilarating and I am having such a good time!

Lists! (2 Peter 1:1-11)

Make every effort to add to your faith:
goodness
knowledge
self control
perseverance
godliness
brotherly kindness
love
For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of Jesus Christ.

This is what I am talking about. A list of things that we can do as Christians to help us become better Christians. And, this list isn't that difficult. It's a good place to start! I know there are some more difficult lists in the Bible, but with this, it is clear and concise...
Love it...
Thank you Jesus and Peter!

Trust in Him.

I didn't have anything to write yesterday. I woke up, had my Bible, open up my computer... and nothing. Even this morning I look with a blank stare. I have another day of kids club, so I am preparing for that; my wife put "house for sale" on her facebook, so I have been following that; I've been thinking about moving and job positions; I've been doing all of this planning, but not enough praying. I wrote down once, many are the plans of a mans heart but the Lord determines his steps. Well, my heart is making plans...
I don't like when that happens. The entire time, I have God speaking to me in the small voice in the back of my head.."relax, your life is in my hands".
I know, I know... I need to stop worrying about it...after all, has worrying ever changed anything or added a single day onto my life? NO I never considered myself a worrier until recently, but now it seems I worry all of the time; constantly making plans so I can stop from worrying.
AAARGGHHH... it's is yet another battle that wages on within me.
Today, I am going to concentrate on this: I will trust in the Lord with all of my heart and lean not on my own understanding. In all my ways I will acknowledge Him and He will make my paths straight.

He's talking to me! (1 Peter 5)

To the elders among you, I appeal as a fellow elder, a witness of Christ's sufferings and one who also will share in the glory to be revealed: Be shepherds of God's flock that is under your care, serving as overseers—not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not greedy for money, but eager to serve; not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock. And when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that will never fade away.

I know that I already put this down yesterday, but I needed to do it again. I have been thinking about this passage ever since I read it yesterday. It's like He's talking to me. I still don't think I am done with this passage.

1 Peter 5

To the elders among you, I appeal as a fellow elder, a witness of Christ's sufferings and one who also will share in the glory to be revealed: Be shepherds of God's flock that is under your care, serving as overseers—not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not greedy for money, but eager to serve; not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock. And when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that will never fade away.
Young men, in the same way be submissive to those who are older. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because,
"God opposes the proud
but gives grace to the humble."Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.
And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen

I am going to try my best to come back to this passage later on today. I love it!

It will work itself out! (1 Peter 4)

I'm looking to the Bible for some much needed answers this morning. My mind is bouncing around again and it's hard to focus on just one thing...
--Kids club this week
--questionnaire that I need to fill out
--my son who's at camp
--my lawn that needs to be mowed
--how on earth am I going to keep my house cleaned this week...
--and it just gets sillier from there...
I don't mind to terribly much, I can strive under pressure, except that when my mind gets busy, I have a hard time focusing on God's word...
Maybe that's what God is teaching me right now... how to focus under pressure.

I read 1 Peter 4 this morning. This is what caught my eye... I have used this passage as a teaching passage before...

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.

It is what I needed to hear this morning. Going into a VBS type setting this morning, teaching kids about Christ; I can go with confidence because I have a heavenly father who gives me the words to say and the strength to stand.

Everything else will just work itself out!

Showing my Joy (1 Peter 3)

Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. "Do not fear what they fear; do not be frightened." But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have.

I like this verse in 1 Peter 3. Of course, that means that you are going to have to show that you have hope first. I do have hope, and a joy. Sometimes, the joy doesn't manifest itself; it stays hidden for only me to see. I think I need to be more intentional about showing my joy. One of my favorite things is talking about Jesus.
It's strange how asks to "set apart in your heart Christ as Lord" I never really thought about that before. It's like a special chamber that never changes; something that we can always look back on and remember. that makes sense.
cool.

gentle commands from Peter (1 Peter 3)

Maybe I am biased. Peter's words sound like poetry.
"Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers; be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil for evil or insult with insult, but with blessing because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.
It sounds so nice and not like a command at all.
OK, so today, my goal is to
1) Live in harmony with others
2) be sympathetic
3) Love as brothers
4) be compassionate
5) be humble
and no insults today...
There is more from 1 Peter 3, but I think I want to reread it again tomorrow.

By His wounds, I am healed. (1 Peter 2:13-25)

I really love Peter's choice of words. I know... they are translated from the Greek into the Hebrew and this is the best we have according to the NIV... I know that. But they had to translate, and the translators did the best they could to portray the words that Peter was saying... so... once again, I love Peter's choice of words...
"Live as free men, but do not use your freedom as a cover up for evil". Jesus has saved us... given us the freedom to live for Him, so smarten up and stop sinning!...is what i get from this. Don't revert back to the old stupid ways that we have grown accustomed to! I need to live my life as though God was my boss, as well as my heavenly father. I need to do what He tells me to do. Fortunately, I have a gracious boss who doesn't throw me out on the street if I make a mistake.
Later on in the passage, Peter writes " He Himself (Jesus) bore our sins in his body on the tree..."
Picture Peter during the time of the crucifixion. He has just denied Jesus, he has witnessed the beatings that took place in the courtyard, and now he sees Jesus hanging from the cross. I can feel the guilt and shame myself. Peter was watching it first hand and afterward shared it with others.
It makes me pause for a moment and reflect the sacrifice Jesus made.

When they hurled insults at HIM, he did not retaliate...
When HE suffered, he made no threats...
HE himself bore the sins... in HIS body
by HIS wounds... I am healed.

Amen.